Change Your Life Friday

2021 Restart, Reset, & Relaunch

29. Experience

Posted on July 19, 2013 by changeyourlifefriday

“What one has not experienced, one will never understand in print.” – Isadora Duncan

Last weekend at a resort in Phoenix Arizona several thousand people gathered together to celebrate their lives and inspire the lives of others. I was blessed to be a part of the planning and culmination of this event and could not be more proud of the results that were apparent throughout and after the weekend had passed. Part of my job in putting this event together was to get the word out to people so they would not miss out on the experience of being a part of something so big and beautiful. I recognized I can share a concept and an idea, I can do it with love and enthusiasm, but a concept will never have as much weight as an experience.

My life today is so much different than when I was younger, thanks to some very vivid experiences I have been graced with. These experiences gave me the ability to see how my choices were giving me a life I no longer wanted. When I look at my life in reverse, all of the great changes have taken place came as a result of some experience that opened a window of willingness to take action for a change. I often see people who are begging and pleading for a change and I do my best to tell them how the changes in my life have taken place. Sometimes, I feel so strongly about these things that I want to scream at the top of my lungs to help inspire someone but then, like this weekend, I am reminded if the words could help someone change then no one would have issues or problems.

I know today, life is what I make of it and the best I can do is help others get out in the world to have their own experiences. My life happens out in the world and the only way I can capitalize on that is by becoming a part of it as much as I can. The world is waiting for all of us when we step away from this page. With a little bit of action maybe this will be the Friday that you truly change your life.

Affirmation: A good life is not just a concept; today I will take the action to make it my actual experience.

Call to Action: This is the juice as my friend would say. Every week we share an idea that can inspire change. What this week calls for is going out and being that change and sharing with us the results. I know what my next step is and today I am going to choose to take it, the result will be an experience that I can build on to. The world is waiting for you.

Serenity

Posted on July 12, 2013 by changeyourlifefriday

“Boredom is the feeling that everything is a waste of time; serenity, that nothing is.” – Thomas Szasz

Six years ago, I was moving out west to go to school after spending time in the military. As I was walking on campus a great sense of peace and calm came over me, and for the first time I felt I was exactly where I needed to be and doing exactly what I needed to be doing. It was an odd experience because it was not until after my life started changing that I could recognize what that feeling was, serenity. Since that day nearly six years ago, I continue to have these serine experiences. They become deeper and more frequent.

This week I was able to make a pilgrimage back to where I first felt those unknown feelings of serenity, and the feeling of being in exactly the right place at exactly the right time came right back. I was able to reconnect with old friends. I was able to bring new friends to the places where I learned about serenity, with hope that they may have a similar experience.

During these great feelings of serenity and peace, I have been able to have some of my most profound life experiences and thoughts. What in your life brings you serenity? How can you harness this feeling in order to enrich your life? Who else in my life could benefit from this feeling and how can I share it with them? When I get away from this feeling, I try to shake up something about my life in order to see what is perhaps not working and helping me achieve similar things I have in the past.

Affirmation: Serenity is my truth. I know peace and serenity every step of my day.

Call to Action: Look for a time during your day when that sense of peace enters your heart. If that feeling of being in the right place at the right time shows up, harness that and use it to enrich your life. Please share with the CYLFriday community an example of this in your life today or in the past.

27. Inner Love

Posted on July 5, 2013 by changeyourlifefriday

Thank you to another guest writer for the great post today.

“Self-love is the instrument of our preservation.” ~Voltaire

All of my life I have believed that I cared greatly for the ones I loved. More so than for myself, I have always given my brothers and sisters my toys and other things as we grew up. I would create situations that I thought would bring happiness to them and knew they would love me. I would take strides of great effort to be who I thought my love ones saw me as. I would meet new people and do the same, trying to win the approval as many people as I could so I would feel like my life were valid. I was looking for love to fill me up, for a very long time. While I did not know that was the case, I judged the world with eyes of sick perception. Everyone was not giving me what I needed. I tried so hard to give it to them

You see almost two and a half years ago I had finally gone emotionally bankrupt. Love for me only came in a tear or two, when I would think of my daughter and my failure as a father. I had looked everywhere for love, and never found what I believed to be true love. I must remind you, back then in this moment I did not know this truth. I just thought life was unfair, that I was victim of chance. . I saw me giving, and them taking, that was my perception on most of my relationships. Hidden underneath that perception was the truth that I see today. I was trying to take from them something I didn’t have, love.

In recent weeks I have come to realize the truth of myself, and the difference between love and hate, all of it begins within me. See whether it is stemming from my childhood or my drive for perfection I am a natural self-hater. I am in most situations never good enough, in my mind through my layers of consciousness, that thought becomes true. I do become what I believe myself to be. If a never measure up, if no one loves me enough, if I say to myself, “you are ugly, you are not strong enough, you are not fast enough, you are not smart enough. “ That becomes who I am. These things are a sure sign of an emotional sickness of self-hate. Therefore I know see, It is self-love that is the answer. It strikes me right down my spine. All the love I need, all that I can ever give, comes from within myself. I am smart, I am good looking, I am fast, I am strong, I am beautiful! Once I finally saw this, I started to become… loved.

Affirmation: I have all the love in the world and that love is an inner Love. I am dependent on love and love myself independently. Thank You Life.

Call to action: Take notice throughout the day how often you put yourself down. If you notice a moment you are downing yourself. Say the opposite. Ex. “I’m just not meant to be physically fit” instead say” I am physically fit, and I will be fit, soon.” You probably won’t believe these things you say to yourself at first. Be vigilant. You will start to believe, and will become what you believe… then you will know love.

26. Silence

Posted on June 27, 2013 by changeyourlifefriday

“_______________________” – A meditating monk

Last May a friend of Change Your Life Friday made a parody and called it “Shut the %^@$ up Sunday” One of his insights included the fact that fish do not talk and they seem to get along just fine. I am joking, and I am just serious though. Silence is extremely important especially in regards to meditation and contemplation. Today let us turn inward and listen for that insight that we have not heard because we have been distracting ourselves. Our brevity today is our form of honoring silence.

Affirmation: Today I listen for profound insights that come in the form of a Universal whisper.

Call to Action: Find some time to sit, be quiet, and attempt to quiet your mind by focusing on your breath or a calming word. Be sure to try and bring silence into your personal interactions, and listen to what people are really trying to tell you. Please explain how silence touched your day in the comments.

25. Innate Nature

Posted on June 20, 2013 by changeyourlifefriday

“Every child born, has innate goodness.” – Chinese Proverb

I recently had the chance to listen to a man give a talk. The majority of his talk was about out ‘innate nature’ and how that can show positively change our life. He gave multiple examples of people who would not follow this innate nature or calling within them and they would be miserable until they had the chance to follow that path. He gave an example of a judge who was always tense, moody, and just hard to get along with. When he retired he was able to finally do what he had always wanted to, but was not able to due to it not being “practical”, he became a totally different and happy man. The speaker’s own experience was similar, and he talked about how he had gone through three different professions prior to becoming a professor at a university and he now loves what he does.

I truly believe we are all born with this innate nature in our soul. I feel that innate nature is filled with goodness as the above quote mentions. What is your calling? What makes your heart sing? Last week we read about a woman who began to dance and fell in love with it. I know when I clear my mind of all the practical things in front of me, and take some time to really recognize what makes me excited about life, it is time well spent. Over the last five years I have watched people go into their professional careers, and the people that do stuff that makes their heart sing really excel in their life and in their happiness.

Affirmation: Today I listen to my calling. It comes easy and effortlessly, and my heart sings when I take action towards my innate nature.

Call to Action: Share with us a time you have listened to your calling from deep inside of you. If you have heard that Universal nudging please share with us what your first step will be to answer the call.

Let Your Heart Dance

Posted on June 14, 2013 by changeyourlifefriday

“Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance. Great dancers are great because of their passion.”

― Martha Graham

Growing up I was never much the life of the party. I was always the shy one that hid in the back of the corner with my eyes to the floor. Anytime I was lucky enough to be invited to a party I pretty much keep to myself and whenever my friends would ask me to dance with them I would always say no. Secretly though, I really wanted to join in. Secretly, in my heart I wanted to dance, but I just couldn’t. I felt stupid because in my mind I was the worst dancer ever. I hated that I was so awkward and hated being cursed with two left feet. I truly envied those that were so free with themselves and their body and could move so gracefully though the crowd.

In college I decided to be brave and take a beginner’s ballet class. At first, I was nervous and felt silly because here I was a grown adult with basically zero dance experience taking a ballet class. It didn’t take long before I feel in love with the class. Even though I was unsure of my body and how to make it move the way my teacher was instructing me to, I felt something inside me began to come alive. Slowly, but surely I no longer looked at the ground when I walked around campus and there was a certain pep in my step. I smiled more and began to have more confidence in myself. There in my college ballet class, I realized that there was something about learning to control my body that was helping free myself of all my fears and helping me become a better person.

At the end of the semester my teacher sat me down for my final review and basically told me that I sucked at ballet and that maybe I should consider taking some other elective. I first I was completely shocked and utterly disappointed that a dance instructor would say such a thing to one of their students. Upon further analyzing my dance abilities I realized that in fact I was terrible at ballet, but that wasn’t going to stop me from dancing. I liked what dance was creating inside of me and the person it was creating within me. I wasn’t going to stop.

Since that semester in college I have taken numerous dance classes. I even do yoga on a regular basis to help condition my body to become a better dancer. Each time I take a new class in a new dance form, the challenges before me are great. Most of the time I’m dancing with people that have been dancing all their lives and to watch them dance is truly an amazing sight. I no longer envy them because believe it or not, after many years of professional training, I’m not so bad after all. I’ve preformed at some of the greatest dance halls in my state and in front of hundreds of people. The other day I even had one of the adult beginner students in one of my dance classes tell me, “Darling, when I grow up I want to dance just like you.” “You move so gracefully.” I almost cried then and there.

Maybe I’ll never win “So You Think You Can Dance,” but somehow I don’t think the purpose of dance is to win a competition. The purpose of dance is to free yourself from all your inhibitions, completely embrace your true self and just dance.

Affirmation: I am totally free to become who I was meant to be. I move with grace and effortlessness towards my goal.

Call to Action: What’s something that you’ve always wanted to do, but have been too embarrassed to pursue because the thought of even seeking it out seems silly? Maybe you’ve always dreamt of being a race car driver or an actor on Broadway, but feel like you’re time has passed. Maybe you think you’re too old or have too many responsibilities and no time. I challenge you to get alone in a quiet place and revisit those childhood dreams. Once you start pursuing your dreams there is no telling what will become of you.

23. Health

Posted on June 7, 2013 by changeyourlifefriday

“Our health always seems much more valuable after we lose it.” -Unknown

As I was browsing the internet the other day I saw the quote above and was completely struck by how simple yet profound it was. I immediately brought into mind all of the little bumps and bruises I have had over the course of my life time and how consuming they become, so much so that they outweigh anything else that the present moment offers. Next I started to think about the people in my life who I have seen come under much greater physical challenges than I have ever had to face and how their whole reality was transformed and focused on this lack of health.

My experiences as I stated are small but it seems even the little things create such a mental circus in my head. I recently chomped on my tongue so hard that it hurt for a week. I would tell myself every time that I felt the pain while eating to never eat so unconsciously again that something like this could happen. That process held up for that week being reminded over and over again how great it is to not experience pain when eating or swallowing. Just as every other example that I could site, once the pain went away I completely forgot about the resolutions that I had made to live more consciously and take better care of myself, I was really just back to business as usual.

There are several experiences that I have seen in others on a much more severe scale that have been shown to be much more transformative. The first one that comes to mind is the great change in attitude and outlook that I have seen enter some cancer survivors that I know. Through the process of losing all conception of what health was and being forced to see the value in it, once recovery would take place, it seems an inner shift occurs as well and their whole attitude and outlook on life transforms too. They had experienced drastic changes physically that offered a gateway to gratitude for something as simple as a pain free day.

With this knowledge I get to ask myself a few questions; Am I healthy? Am I showing gratitude for the health that I have? What am I doing to stay and grow in healthy ways today? If I honestly look at these questions I can quickly say that overall I am a very healthy person, I exercise, I eat consciously and I try my best to focus on the things that are good in me today. So in some ways I believe I am grateful but I think that I have so much room to grow in this area. When I bit my tongue I spent so much time and focus on how painful and problematic that issue was, I have never focused that much love into the little things that my body blesses me with everyday. When I look at it this way it seems like a complete lack of balance. I know in this moment that I don’t want to have to wait to lose something to see the blessings I have right in front of me today.

Affirmation: I am blessed to recognize the value of the health that I have in this moment; today I will focus on all the parts of me that are perfect healthy and whole.

Call to Action: Time to do some work! My back hurts, my leg is sore, I have a blister… These stories become our complete reality but while they are obvious concerns the rest of the machine that makes up our bodies are working in perfect harmony. Today my back may be hurt but that will not define me, My head is clear, My hands feel strong, I breathe with ease and comfort and I can enjoy even the spiciest meal with complete comfort. Also this may be the time to look at some of those things which are consciously taking away this precious gift of health that you can still seize. Time to get honest, eh? What health blessings do you have today? I have ten fingers and toes and for that I am grateful.

Forgive

Posted on May 30, 2013 by changeyourlifefriday

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” –Gandhi

Due to the traumatic events of my childhood, I learned at a very young age how to bottle up all of my feelings and move on. Today, at 27 years old, I am learning to feel again. Oh, what an experience it truly is! Between the uncontrollable spells of tears and rage, an incredible outpouring of real, true love is beginning to show its face. As the overwhelming emotions begin to settle themselves and become regulated, I find I am blessed to know what it is like to really feel.

As this new influx of emotions had begun to occur, I couldn’t help but look at the events of my past and get angry. I felt cheated. I felt wronged. I wanted to stand atop a mountain and scream to the world about how I had been dealt a raw deal. Then, I landed back on Earth. Anger turned to depression. This is where I became the victim, and what a terrible thing to be. My relationships quickly became hostage situations. I was confronted and rescued by my support group who presented me with the only thing that could salvage my situation; action.

Regardless of where I come from or the situations that have taken place in my life, I must realize that it is only my actions that can lead me to freedom and happiness. My anger towards others and anything that has taken place can only bring more pain. I must learn to forgive before I can be free. Most of all, I must learn to forgive myself. It is only by forgiveness that the pain can be released. My resentment will not bring me any peace.

I know I’m not perfect in the end

Your broken heart, I’ve tried to mend

Instead I made you hurt and cry

Maybe I should say goodbye

Would it be better for me to go?

I asked you, and you said “No.”

Why say no when I hurt you so bad

Because if I left, then you’d be sad

You forgive me because you care so much

Your feelings for me are not a crutch

You say you love me to the moon and back

And you held me close, never made an attack

Now I know what true love is

Unbreakable, unconditional, splendid bliss

Affirmation: Today I am forgiven. Today I am at peace. Today I am able to love unconditionally.

Call to Action: Where in your life are you holding onto anger and resentment too tightly? What good is this doing you? Let go of your anger and your fears. Forgive. Give yourself some peace and walk into the bright sunlight of freedom and see what your resentment has been keeping from you. Be kind, be gentle, and see the good in everyone. It’s there somewhere.

We would like to thank the many contributors leading up to this guest post and in advance for all of our other guest writers that are thinking about it and will keep posting.

21. Intuition

Posted on May 24, 2013 by changeyourlifefriday

“Cease trying to work everything out with your minds. It will get you nowhere. Live by intuition and inspiration and let your whole life be revelation.” – Eileen Caddy

I just recently moved in to a new place. The idea behind this place is for people to come together, live in community, and develop a rhythm of life through prayer, mediation, and service. It is an interesting and new endeavor for me, and sometimes I am baffled that this is something that I would be interested in doing.

This past Sunday we had a house blessing, and many people were invited from throughout the community. The days leading up to the event I sent some e-mails, talked to people inviting them to the Sunday event, and so did other people that are involved with this project. When the hour arrived for people to start showing up I was amazed and overwhelmed by the number of people that showed. There have only been a handful of times where I felt as supported as I did on Sunday. It reminded me when I follow that intuition in my stomach amazing things happen.

About 14 months ago I made the decision to move back to my hometown, something I was “never” going to do. I came to help family and decide what my next move was to be. I am basically writing this on my anniversary of moving back. I am now locked in to a unique and fascinating thing for a year, and I have the most amazing anxiety, openness, and hope to what the next year might bring.

Today as you walk through your life and your intuition is telling you something, or you are headed down a path that logically seems a bit unheard of, try to remember that we have something deep within our being that is guiding us for the greater good. The people that truly love you will understand and respect this outlook to life. Follow your heart and take in others suggestions, but always remember that when your head hits the pillow at night you only have one person to answer to, and that is yourself.

Affirmation: In this moment I am guided and directed towards who and what I should be.

Call to Action: Is there something that you feel is right in your life that you are too scared to follow? I know when I stop trying to figure it out and follow the simple steps in front of me the results are always better than my mind can fathom. Share your blocks and experiences with us, help us all grow.

20. Rewards

Posted on May 17, 2013 by changeyourlifefriday

“Before the reward there must be labor. You plant before you harvest. You sow in tears before you reap joy.” – Ralph Ransom

Last weekend I was able to take an amazing trip to one of the most beautiful places that I have seen in my lifetime. I went on this adventure with one of my lifelong friends and a large group of acquaintances. This place is special for so many reasons, it is off of the beaten path, far away from civilization, lightly traveled and you have to put in work to get to this far off location.

When I first heard of this opportunity I was struck with the fears that come with any new adventure, can I take the time away from my busy life, am I prepared for the struggles that are involved with the journey and will it be worth it. As with most fears, I put in my end of the work, I did my best to clear the space in my schedule, I adjusted my mindset to allow for a successful trip and I trusted in the people who went before me to believe that the journey was worth it.

The reward that I received through the effort I put forth in preparation and effort once I began far exceeded anything I could have planned for. The location was so incredibly beautiful, there was a true connection to nature and a bond built with the other people who I took the trip with. The work that I put in paid off.

As with most great achievements and gifts that I receive, I try to relate them back to my day-to-day life. I often find that I am unwilling to prepare and put forth the effort but I always want the reward. In truth, a lot of the time I can get away with that. This experience showed me something much deeper, there was no way to get the benefit without the work. The greatest benefit was the feeling of accomplishment for doing something that was so foreign to me. I think what this means for me is the more I put forth all the effort necessary the sweeter the rewards will be.

Affirmation: In this moment I am so grateful for the chance to see that I truly do reap what I sow.

Call to Action: Are there any places in your life where you expect an outcome but are not willing to put in the work. Does it sometimes feel like the rewards you are getting are unwarranted? Is there a better way and more fulfillment around the corner if you put forth a more honest and concerted effort. I know there are some places where this is very true for me…how about you?