“To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.”  -William Shakespeare

Is the grass really greener on the other side? I was speaking to a friend, as so often inspiration spawns for the cylfriday posts, and he used the phrase, “I got what I wanted and now that I have it, I’m not sure if I really want it anymore.” I think about how many times I have heard all of my friends and family say something similar and having a similar result. Usually it goes something like this: When I graduate things will be different, when I finally get out of this town my life will be better, when I get more respect from my girlfriend this relationship will be great, if I had a girlfriend my life would be complete, as soon as I get a better job I will be happy… etc. I know you have heard many variations of this as well.

I’m not saying there is anything wrong with planning ahead or having goals for the future. I am saying that these goals when accomplished are not going to solve life’s problems.

I realize that when I get what I want and I regret it or it does not fill the void I was looking to fill than maybe I didn’t really know what I wanted in the first place. Perhaps I am looking for outside things to fix the inside problems. I now know that what I really need is to find out my inner truth. What I really want, what my motives are, and am I counting on it to create a feeling within me?

Affirmation:  I know who I am.  I know what I need.  I know I am perfect in this moment and my joy and happiness comes from the inside out.

Call to Action: Time to let go of fear and look inside gang.  Today take some time to do some self seeking.  Write down some of the things in your life that you feel have been brining you the most frustration or stress.  Also write down some of those things you feel would “make everything better.” Now look at that list and ask yourself what is really true about those situations or wants.  Please share anything that you find in this self seeking exercise in the comment section below.

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“Communication leads to community, that is, to understanding, intimacy and mutual valuing.” -Rollo May

This last week I was graced with some amazing perspective on how important my support system has become in my life.  Over the past several years of trying to truly be a good friend I have received a great number of good friends in return.  There are people in my life today that would stop everything they were doing to help me in any way that I may need.  I believe that came from doing the same for many of them and putting my self interest aside.   It was not some deal of magic or dumb luck that I have true, deep relationships today, it has been the result of practice and persistence.

When we were young it was very easy to make tight friendships just based on the amount of time that was available to cultivate our relationships.  As we get older things get in the way and before we know it our communities shrink down to very small groups.  I don’t believe there is anything wrong with having a tight group but I also can very easily see the benefit of the principle of strength in numbers.

So what is the answer?  I believe the answer is effort and honesty.  I like to trick myself into thinking that I am fully self-sufficient when in actuality I need support and motivation to continue to grow.  When I can honestly say that I need the help of my fellows, I better have some fellows that I can turn to.  That is where the effort comes in, by being a friend I get friends.  By supporting others I have a support group and by listening I give someone a chance to be heard.  I am so grateful for the community that I have seen grow about me over the last several years and I really wish that all of you can experience the same love and support that I feel when I walk out into the world.

Affirmation:  Today I will create the community I crave by seeking out people that will support and inspire me to be the best I can be.

Call to Action: Take some time today to assess the community that surrounds you.  Are you supported?  Are you inspired? Are you motivated to be the best you that you can be?  Is there a place in your community that you can give back and be of service?  If there is a lack in any of these areas?  If so use this week to break through the fear of change and find some of your fellows that are looking for the same things.  I am grateful for the cylfriday community, share how we can help each other to help ourselves.

_{Copyright © 2011-2012, Change Your Life Friday. All Rights Reserved.}

“Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.” -Steve Jobs

Tonight while sitting on my alma mater’s football field the realization that a chapter in my life was coming to a close began to soak in. While reminiscing over the last four and a half years the speaker mentioned that I will need to reinvent myself 5-7 times over the next twenty years in order to achieve great things.

January 10th 2008 I moved from a town in the far northeast corner of the United States to a new city out west. Prior to the permanent move, I had the chance to visit this great metropolis. During my visit I experienced a peace and ease I had never felt when making a big life decision, little did I know what was to come. Within two months of the big move out west I had figuratively and somewhat literally made my bed, dowsed it in jet fuel, lit a match and attempted to go to sleep.

During the next four years I found my way out of the ashes with the help of a few good men that were willing to show me a new way of thinking, acting and believing. The result over the last 1,575 days has been a life full of amazing gifts, great friends, as well as some earth shattering sorrows. I know that each one of these events was necessary for me to arrive at the end of this chapter and spring into an exciting new chapter full of blank pages still.

Was there a Divine Order involved that used Phoenix, AZ as the setting for the lesson of rebirth and transformation? I believe so, and if there was not it worked out to be one hell of a coincidence.

Affirmation:  The person who I choose today is the model for the person who I am becoming. Today I choose love, happiness, forgiveness and inspiration.

Call to Action: I know my truth for this day and the days ahead come from that inner spark of inspiration that continues to smolder as I keep making right minded choices.  Today I beg of you to look at the choices you are making today and ask yourself several times throughout the day, are these the actions of the person who I am intending to become?  Please share with us what comes through in this gut check style process.

_{Copyright © 2011-2012, Change Your Life Friday. All Rights Reserved.}

“Your only responsibility is to dream the grandest dream possible in order for the Universe to showoff through you.” -CYLFriday Crew

At some point in my life did I sacrifice my dream for security? Your rent is due, get a job.  Your car payment is due, get a job. Perhaps we work at another job to pay our bills, chasing our dream on our day off. Then our “job for the meantime” turns into overtime. The boss says, “Business is good, can you come in on the weekend? Can you stay late tonight?” At what point did I forget about my dream?

I was speaking to a friend who used the phrase “live to work, instead of work to live”.  That is not how I want to live. I was having less and less time off and consequently less of my dream. I felt the moment had arrived to chase that dream full time.

During the little time there was to focus on my life’s calling a lot of practicing, planning and preparation took place. I never lost sight of the grand scheme. Every single day I catch myself thinking about my goal, I know it is time, and I recently quit my job, with much relief, to follow my dream.

Affirmation: My dreams come from the divine knowledge within my core. I let my intuition lead me to the most amazing life I can imagine.

Call To Action: Find a place in your life that security has taken the place of your dream and determine a way to shift your life back towards your dream.

_{Copyright © 2011-2012, Change Your Life Friday. All Rights Reserved.}

“I want my perspective to come from a heart that is full of love.” –CYLFriday Crew

This past week tragedy and loss hit very close to home for several of my friends and I. Two people that we were close to passed on. An outcry of sadness was created immediately followed with an extreme out pouring of love and support for those that were most affected by the losses.

I quickly gained two beautiful lessons about perspective. The first lesson dealt with what is truly important as opposed to what I am often tricked into believing matters. I think it is very common to get caught up in concerns about the cosmetics of life that wax and wane through the course of our days and weeks. Today I remember that the love of friends, family and community is most important in my life.

The second lesson had to do with what I focus on. It seems we often have two choices in how we view any situation, one of fear or one of love. Option 1, I can allow my attention to dwell on the loss and pain or option 2, I can turn my attention to the love and connection that grows during tough times. This idea is as old as mans ability to reason, how do I view the glass? I choose to believe that the glass is half full. When I see the glass as being half full I am seeing the total potential of the situation and I am focused on the good. If I were to see the same glass as being half empty I am living in a state of fear with a belief in lack, focusing on what is wrong.

Life constantly provides experiences that offer us the chance to change the way we look at the world. Sometimes it takes very drastic experiences to make changes but I think that if we begin to cultivate a half full attitude on a regular basis then when troubles do come down the path we are prepared for them.

Affirmation: Today I choose to look at the world around me with pure love.

Call to Action: Take one thing in your life that has been a challenge and see how you can look at it from a different perspective or decide if it is truly important. Please share your thoughts below.

_{Copyright © 2011-2012, Change Your Life Friday. All Rights Reserved.}

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. -John F. Kennedy

A great friend and inspiration for all of us at Change Your Life Friday is preparing to make his transition.  The result, albeit sad is an extreme amount of gratitude for the love and lessons that he taught us and so many others during his life. So today we are grateful for the moments that we have had and the lessons we are still being taught.  It is also very clear through this experience that just feeling grateful is not enough for this or any other moment.  We are finding again that gratitude is an action, which is coming through thanks to all of the love and prayers being shared for him and his family in this most precious of moments.

This experience is an amazing reminder of how important it is to live a grateful life.  What does that look like?  It is very simple, share with others the good that they bring you, live with the knowledge that this life is a gift and always look for what you can give to the world while not worrying about a gain.  We choose to live this way today, care to join us and as a result, Change Your Life?

Affirmation:  I am so grateful for the gift of today; I will share it with EVERYONE I encounter.

Call to action: Live today for the world around you and see how much peace that you receive in return.  Find those spots where you can give of yourself and give freely.  Please share with us how your grateful living is inspiring your fellows.

_{Copyright © 2011-2012, Change Your Life Friday. All Rights Reserved.}

“Stop acting as if life is a rehearsal. Live this day as if it were your last. The past is over and gone. The future is not guaranteed.” -Wayne Dyer

Live every MOMENT fully!  I was pondering what the most important moment in my life has been and the constant response is the only moment there truly is, THIS ONE!  As I write this edition I am doing it with presence and love. As you read this notice the beauty of life that is around you right now. I am at peace because I am here with you truly living for right now, this day, this moment.

A good friend of mine used to call me and remind me to live in and for this moment.  When I would answer the phone he would ask, “Where are you, what time is it?”  At first I would always say the place I was and look at my watch for the time.  After some loving coaching he directed me to a slightly different answer, “I am here, it is now.”  This has become a mantra in my daily life to keep me here and now.  What that reminder can easily do is bring me back from the mental time machine that takes me to yesterday’s faults and tomorrow’s foes.  When I am in this moment nothing else could ever matter and my life is once again changed.

Affirmation: In this moment I am one with all there is.  I feel peace and love knowing that I am here and it is now!

Call to Action: Set some reminders throughout the day to ask yourself and your fellows if you are bold enough, “Where are you, what time is it?”  Share with us how your life is changing in this moment.  Thank you for being such a great part in my moments.

_{Copyright © 2011-2012, Change Your Life Friday. All Rights Reserved.}

“One of the simplest yet most heartfelt actions we can do is listen.”  –CYLFriday crew

I found myself in a position where a friend needed someone to share their feelings with. I had the honor to be the recipient of their story.  Through the process of silently and attentively listening to them, free of comment or judgment they were able to find their own truth as the words left their mouth.  The result for both of us was an extreme feeling of peace and serenity that is so often missed.

I was graced by this experience to look at how often my inner monologue takes me away from true listening.  I wait anxiously to share my own solutions and try to meddle with the process. This same action happens when I fail to sit silently with myself and allow my deeper truths to flow.  If you notice: the same letters spell listen and silent.

Affirmation: I am present and available to listen to all that the universe needs me to hear.  I listen with my ears, heart and intuition.

Call to Action: Take time out of each day this week to listen to a friend, a stranger or your intuition.  Share with us and others what you gained from just listening.

_{Copyright © 2011-2012, Change Your Life Friday. All Rights Reserved.}

“It’s All Good.” – Too Many to List

When I was a teenager I use to say “It’s All Good” about everything. I did not realize what a universal truth I was dealing with. All that I knew was it really frustrated my mother. Today I was reminded of this saying during a discussion with a friend who is going through some struggles. The reminder was that things I have labeled as bad in my past have actually ended up being some of the greatest gifts in my life. Difficulty at work, lost love, strain within the family, and overcoming illness has enriched my life more than anything else in the world, but as I was walking through these “horrible” things you could not have convinced me of that.

Today my mom and I constantly remind each other that it is, in fact, all good. I am also able to remind friends that what they are going through is all good regardless of what they may feel or perceive at the moment. Shakespeare reminds us “There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.” Today let us choose good in our life and remind as many people as we can that it is all good.

Affirmation: Today every moment and situation I am in is nothing but good and great. I allow this good in my life knowing that this is Life’s gift to me.

Call to Action: Look at a past struggle and recognize the good that you can now see from overcoming that. Embrace that feeling of good and apply that to a current challenge in your life in order to find the gift that is being delivered.

_{Copyright © 2011-2012, Change Your Life Friday. All Rights Reserved.}

“Much effort, much prosperity.” –Euripides

I can remember when I was a much younger man, possibly last week, when I was thinking how great it would be to do less and make more.  The end result was wasted time in the areas that bring me the most growth.  I think this concept can span many different aspects of a life; a lack of effort and the attitude of I want more for less.

I took time to look at the effort that I was putting forth in some of those aspects, what I found was there was more time wasted than applied and some of the applied time had poor intention behind it.  I think I see a great deal of this attitude in my surroundings as well.  I hear people often saying how they are not getting enough out of their efforts when questioned how strong those efforts or how focused their intentions are, the honest answer is that there is a lack.

We live in a time and place where it has becoming increasingly easy and accepted to wait around expecting things to change.  I think that time is about to start changing, if for no one else, it will in my life.  If I want my life to change today I need to put forth the effort to change it, not just sit back and think about how the world needs to tilt towards me.

Get up, get out and make something happen.  Focus on a goal that has been sitting around and put some honest intended effort into it.  I have one in mind already and I am sure you do to…go, go ahead…DO IT!

Affirmation: What I get reflects what I put in and today I am going to give it all I got.

Call To Action: Decide on a goal that you will place some intended effort into and share it with a friend and us.

_{Copyright © 2011-2012, Change Your Life Friday. All Rights Reserved.}