Change Your Life Friday

2021 Restart, Reset, & Relaunch

Take Interest

Posted on August 9, 2013 by changeyourlifefriday

“Show interest in all people, not just those from whom you want something. Making people feel important and good about themselves is just the right thing to do.”

Bo Bennett

I am in a relationship and my significant other has an 11 year-old child. I have been around him for a whole year now and just recently found out he plays the trumpet. He never brought his trumpet home from school. Never practiced his trumpet. Never spoke of playing the trumpet and I thought maybe 11 year olds just don’t care about trumpets. Over the past week I have been asking questions about the trumpet. Various things like; what songs did you play last year? What time your band class is? How many trumpet players are there? Etc…

Last night, after he finished his homework, he pulled out the trumpet went outside and started to play. After a year of becoming a part of this family, this is the first time I heard a note. He warmed up with some scales, played a couple recognizable tunes, and as he played I recognized he really knows how to play that thing. He sounded pretty good. Not to mention he is an 11 year old who never practices or even talks about it, for that matter he is pretty amazing.

I realized in that moment how much my interest in someone else can change their experience. I am constantly presented with a world that is dieing to express itself in all sorts of ways. All to often I am stuck in my head only concerned about myself. If I show interest in the stuff that matters to others, it seems that attention opens a whole new world of excitement and enthusiasm for life. I know when people take interest in me it feels amazing, so it seems only right to give that feeling back

Affirmation: As I take notice and interest in the world around me, the world around me seems to get more interesting.

Call to Action: There are so many things around us that go unnoticed. When I am in a place where I am not taking notice of the world around me the world around me seems to get very boring and all that I am left with are stories of how dull the world is. Today i am going to look a little closer and find where my interest can be the interest that the world around me needs. So share something of yourself and celebrate the gifts of those around you! They have been waiting for you to notice!!!

31. Friendship

Posted on August 2, 2013 by changeyourlifefriday

“Friendship… is not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything.” – Muhammad Ali

I have had the opportunity and joy to create this blog with two of my best friends. It has truly taught me what great friends can create. Today, even with hundreds of miles separating us, we still are right by each other the whole way.

Two weeks ago I made a new friend, it was as if we were long-lost friends. I was at work and got a call from a man who needed a Bible, he was stuck in the hospital and I just happen to work at a church. When I got to the hospital with a Bible, newspaper, and Top Ramen it was revealed that the man on the phone was in the lock down psych ward. After I talked to the nurse she allowed me through the doors, and I had the chance to sit and talk to this man for about 15 – 20 minutes. I went back and hung out with him for the next 3 days until he was transferred to another hospital in a different city.

Tuesday I was able to meet up with him after he got back to the city I live in. While we were hanging out I was able to take him to fill a prescription. Yesterday, we met up again to spend some time together and he has found a place to live, a job as a cook, and is excited about his new-found life.

I never realized how important human interaction was until I walked through a locked door to meet a complete stranger. The sparkle in Mike’s eye when he saw that someone would take the time to bring him three simple supplies was a humbling experience, and an even deeper learning experience.

Affirmation: There are no strangers, just people who are best friends or deep and meaningful friends I have not met.

Call To Action: Today share a story about you and a long time friend that brings a smile to your face. Maybe there is an interesting story about how you met, or an exciting event that made an acquaintance into close friend.

Creativity

Posted on July 26, 2013 by changeyourlifefriday

“…by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.”

-Sylvia Plath

Over the past few years one of my friends and I have talked about creating a movie script. Every once in a while we would bring it up and make comments about different ideas for scenes, characters, topics or themes. This talk and banter has always been fun, but until this week it had not gone much further than that. In truth, I never really took it much further than the idea, since I had no experience in the script writing or movie- making realm.

On Wednesday, my friend called me and asked if I was ready to sit down and start writing that script. Out of the habit to saying yes to life I said, “absolutely, meet me in an hour!” Before that self-doubting part of my brain could kick in, tell me I didn’t have the skills, or the experience to try something new involving creativity, he showed up. I am so grateful for my cultivated reaction to say yes today.

When my friend arrived to my house I was committed and all in. We sat down and began talking and writing, making notes, dreaming and brainstorming. The result to the effort was the birth of creativity. Two open minds came together and worked towards one common goal and inspiration happened. The experience was so positive and exciting that we sat down again, with an even bigger group of people, the next day and made more progress and created even more. What I see today is just another reminder that all of the creative thoughts that I have are always just a little effort away and they are so exciting to tap into.

Affirmation: I am a creative and intelligent being, and in this moment I am inspired to cultivate new thoughts and experiences!

Call to action: Please take some time today to flex your creative muscle. Write a poem, a story, or an experience on paper. Or reach out to a friend that you have been talking about a project with sit down together and figure out what it will take. Share your experience with us so that we can all grow together. Lets change our lives again this Friday!!!

29. Experience

Posted on July 19, 2013 by changeyourlifefriday

“What one has not experienced, one will never understand in print.” – Isadora Duncan

Last weekend at a resort in Phoenix Arizona several thousand people gathered together to celebrate their lives and inspire the lives of others. I was blessed to be a part of the planning and culmination of this event and could not be more proud of the results that were apparent throughout and after the weekend had passed. Part of my job in putting this event together was to get the word out to people so they would not miss out on the experience of being a part of something so big and beautiful. I recognized I can share a concept and an idea, I can do it with love and enthusiasm, but a concept will never have as much weight as an experience.

My life today is so much different than when I was younger, thanks to some very vivid experiences I have been graced with. These experiences gave me the ability to see how my choices were giving me a life I no longer wanted. When I look at my life in reverse, all of the great changes have taken place came as a result of some experience that opened a window of willingness to take action for a change. I often see people who are begging and pleading for a change and I do my best to tell them how the changes in my life have taken place. Sometimes, I feel so strongly about these things that I want to scream at the top of my lungs to help inspire someone but then, like this weekend, I am reminded if the words could help someone change then no one would have issues or problems.

I know today, life is what I make of it and the best I can do is help others get out in the world to have their own experiences. My life happens out in the world and the only way I can capitalize on that is by becoming a part of it as much as I can. The world is waiting for all of us when we step away from this page. With a little bit of action maybe this will be the Friday that you truly change your life.

Affirmation: A good life is not just a concept; today I will take the action to make it my actual experience.

Call to Action: This is the juice as my friend would say. Every week we share an idea that can inspire change. What this week calls for is going out and being that change and sharing with us the results. I know what my next step is and today I am going to choose to take it, the result will be an experience that I can build on to. The world is waiting for you.

Serenity

Posted on July 12, 2013 by changeyourlifefriday

“Boredom is the feeling that everything is a waste of time; serenity, that nothing is.” – Thomas Szasz

Six years ago, I was moving out west to go to school after spending time in the military. As I was walking on campus a great sense of peace and calm came over me, and for the first time I felt I was exactly where I needed to be and doing exactly what I needed to be doing. It was an odd experience because it was not until after my life started changing that I could recognize what that feeling was, serenity. Since that day nearly six years ago, I continue to have these serine experiences. They become deeper and more frequent.

This week I was able to make a pilgrimage back to where I first felt those unknown feelings of serenity, and the feeling of being in exactly the right place at exactly the right time came right back. I was able to reconnect with old friends. I was able to bring new friends to the places where I learned about serenity, with hope that they may have a similar experience.

During these great feelings of serenity and peace, I have been able to have some of my most profound life experiences and thoughts. What in your life brings you serenity? How can you harness this feeling in order to enrich your life? Who else in my life could benefit from this feeling and how can I share it with them? When I get away from this feeling, I try to shake up something about my life in order to see what is perhaps not working and helping me achieve similar things I have in the past.

Affirmation: Serenity is my truth. I know peace and serenity every step of my day.

Call to Action: Look for a time during your day when that sense of peace enters your heart. If that feeling of being in the right place at the right time shows up, harness that and use it to enrich your life. Please share with the CYLFriday community an example of this in your life today or in the past.

27. Inner Love

Posted on July 5, 2013 by changeyourlifefriday

Thank you to another guest writer for the great post today.

“Self-love is the instrument of our preservation.” ~Voltaire

All of my life I have believed that I cared greatly for the ones I loved. More so than for myself, I have always given my brothers and sisters my toys and other things as we grew up. I would create situations that I thought would bring happiness to them and knew they would love me. I would take strides of great effort to be who I thought my love ones saw me as. I would meet new people and do the same, trying to win the approval as many people as I could so I would feel like my life were valid. I was looking for love to fill me up, for a very long time. While I did not know that was the case, I judged the world with eyes of sick perception. Everyone was not giving me what I needed. I tried so hard to give it to them

You see almost two and a half years ago I had finally gone emotionally bankrupt. Love for me only came in a tear or two, when I would think of my daughter and my failure as a father. I had looked everywhere for love, and never found what I believed to be true love. I must remind you, back then in this moment I did not know this truth. I just thought life was unfair, that I was victim of chance. . I saw me giving, and them taking, that was my perception on most of my relationships. Hidden underneath that perception was the truth that I see today. I was trying to take from them something I didn’t have, love.

In recent weeks I have come to realize the truth of myself, and the difference between love and hate, all of it begins within me. See whether it is stemming from my childhood or my drive for perfection I am a natural self-hater. I am in most situations never good enough, in my mind through my layers of consciousness, that thought becomes true. I do become what I believe myself to be. If a never measure up, if no one loves me enough, if I say to myself, “you are ugly, you are not strong enough, you are not fast enough, you are not smart enough. “ That becomes who I am. These things are a sure sign of an emotional sickness of self-hate. Therefore I know see, It is self-love that is the answer. It strikes me right down my spine. All the love I need, all that I can ever give, comes from within myself. I am smart, I am good looking, I am fast, I am strong, I am beautiful! Once I finally saw this, I started to become… loved.

Affirmation: I have all the love in the world and that love is an inner Love. I am dependent on love and love myself independently. Thank You Life.

Call to action: Take notice throughout the day how often you put yourself down. If you notice a moment you are downing yourself. Say the opposite. Ex. “I’m just not meant to be physically fit” instead say” I am physically fit, and I will be fit, soon.” You probably won’t believe these things you say to yourself at first. Be vigilant. You will start to believe, and will become what you believe… then you will know love.

26. Silence

Posted on June 27, 2013 by changeyourlifefriday

“_______________________” – A meditating monk

Last May a friend of Change Your Life Friday made a parody and called it “Shut the %^@$ up Sunday” One of his insights included the fact that fish do not talk and they seem to get along just fine. I am joking, and I am just serious though. Silence is extremely important especially in regards to meditation and contemplation. Today let us turn inward and listen for that insight that we have not heard because we have been distracting ourselves. Our brevity today is our form of honoring silence.

Affirmation: Today I listen for profound insights that come in the form of a Universal whisper.

Call to Action: Find some time to sit, be quiet, and attempt to quiet your mind by focusing on your breath or a calming word. Be sure to try and bring silence into your personal interactions, and listen to what people are really trying to tell you. Please explain how silence touched your day in the comments.

25. Innate Nature

Posted on June 20, 2013 by changeyourlifefriday

“Every child born, has innate goodness.” – Chinese Proverb

I recently had the chance to listen to a man give a talk. The majority of his talk was about out ‘innate nature’ and how that can show positively change our life. He gave multiple examples of people who would not follow this innate nature or calling within them and they would be miserable until they had the chance to follow that path. He gave an example of a judge who was always tense, moody, and just hard to get along with. When he retired he was able to finally do what he had always wanted to, but was not able to due to it not being “practical”, he became a totally different and happy man. The speaker’s own experience was similar, and he talked about how he had gone through three different professions prior to becoming a professor at a university and he now loves what he does.

I truly believe we are all born with this innate nature in our soul. I feel that innate nature is filled with goodness as the above quote mentions. What is your calling? What makes your heart sing? Last week we read about a woman who began to dance and fell in love with it. I know when I clear my mind of all the practical things in front of me, and take some time to really recognize what makes me excited about life, it is time well spent. Over the last five years I have watched people go into their professional careers, and the people that do stuff that makes their heart sing really excel in their life and in their happiness.

Affirmation: Today I listen to my calling. It comes easy and effortlessly, and my heart sings when I take action towards my innate nature.

Call to Action: Share with us a time you have listened to your calling from deep inside of you. If you have heard that Universal nudging please share with us what your first step will be to answer the call.

Let Your Heart Dance

Posted on June 14, 2013 by changeyourlifefriday

“Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance. Great dancers are great because of their passion.”

― Martha Graham

Growing up I was never much the life of the party. I was always the shy one that hid in the back of the corner with my eyes to the floor. Anytime I was lucky enough to be invited to a party I pretty much keep to myself and whenever my friends would ask me to dance with them I would always say no. Secretly though, I really wanted to join in. Secretly, in my heart I wanted to dance, but I just couldn’t. I felt stupid because in my mind I was the worst dancer ever. I hated that I was so awkward and hated being cursed with two left feet. I truly envied those that were so free with themselves and their body and could move so gracefully though the crowd.

In college I decided to be brave and take a beginner’s ballet class. At first, I was nervous and felt silly because here I was a grown adult with basically zero dance experience taking a ballet class. It didn’t take long before I feel in love with the class. Even though I was unsure of my body and how to make it move the way my teacher was instructing me to, I felt something inside me began to come alive. Slowly, but surely I no longer looked at the ground when I walked around campus and there was a certain pep in my step. I smiled more and began to have more confidence in myself. There in my college ballet class, I realized that there was something about learning to control my body that was helping free myself of all my fears and helping me become a better person.

At the end of the semester my teacher sat me down for my final review and basically told me that I sucked at ballet and that maybe I should consider taking some other elective. I first I was completely shocked and utterly disappointed that a dance instructor would say such a thing to one of their students. Upon further analyzing my dance abilities I realized that in fact I was terrible at ballet, but that wasn’t going to stop me from dancing. I liked what dance was creating inside of me and the person it was creating within me. I wasn’t going to stop.

Since that semester in college I have taken numerous dance classes. I even do yoga on a regular basis to help condition my body to become a better dancer. Each time I take a new class in a new dance form, the challenges before me are great. Most of the time I’m dancing with people that have been dancing all their lives and to watch them dance is truly an amazing sight. I no longer envy them because believe it or not, after many years of professional training, I’m not so bad after all. I’ve preformed at some of the greatest dance halls in my state and in front of hundreds of people. The other day I even had one of the adult beginner students in one of my dance classes tell me, “Darling, when I grow up I want to dance just like you.” “You move so gracefully.” I almost cried then and there.

Maybe I’ll never win “So You Think You Can Dance,” but somehow I don’t think the purpose of dance is to win a competition. The purpose of dance is to free yourself from all your inhibitions, completely embrace your true self and just dance.

Affirmation: I am totally free to become who I was meant to be. I move with grace and effortlessness towards my goal.

Call to Action: What’s something that you’ve always wanted to do, but have been too embarrassed to pursue because the thought of even seeking it out seems silly? Maybe you’ve always dreamt of being a race car driver or an actor on Broadway, but feel like you’re time has passed. Maybe you think you’re too old or have too many responsibilities and no time. I challenge you to get alone in a quiet place and revisit those childhood dreams. Once you start pursuing your dreams there is no telling what will become of you.

Forgive

Posted on May 30, 2013 by changeyourlifefriday

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” –Gandhi

Due to the traumatic events of my childhood, I learned at a very young age how to bottle up all of my feelings and move on. Today, at 27 years old, I am learning to feel again. Oh, what an experience it truly is! Between the uncontrollable spells of tears and rage, an incredible outpouring of real, true love is beginning to show its face. As the overwhelming emotions begin to settle themselves and become regulated, I find I am blessed to know what it is like to really feel.

As this new influx of emotions had begun to occur, I couldn’t help but look at the events of my past and get angry. I felt cheated. I felt wronged. I wanted to stand atop a mountain and scream to the world about how I had been dealt a raw deal. Then, I landed back on Earth. Anger turned to depression. This is where I became the victim, and what a terrible thing to be. My relationships quickly became hostage situations. I was confronted and rescued by my support group who presented me with the only thing that could salvage my situation; action.

Regardless of where I come from or the situations that have taken place in my life, I must realize that it is only my actions that can lead me to freedom and happiness. My anger towards others and anything that has taken place can only bring more pain. I must learn to forgive before I can be free. Most of all, I must learn to forgive myself. It is only by forgiveness that the pain can be released. My resentment will not bring me any peace.

I know I’m not perfect in the end

Your broken heart, I’ve tried to mend

Instead I made you hurt and cry

Maybe I should say goodbye

Would it be better for me to go?

I asked you, and you said “No.”

Why say no when I hurt you so bad

Because if I left, then you’d be sad

You forgive me because you care so much

Your feelings for me are not a crutch

You say you love me to the moon and back

And you held me close, never made an attack

Now I know what true love is

Unbreakable, unconditional, splendid bliss

Affirmation: Today I am forgiven. Today I am at peace. Today I am able to love unconditionally.

Call to Action: Where in your life are you holding onto anger and resentment too tightly? What good is this doing you? Let go of your anger and your fears. Forgive. Give yourself some peace and walk into the bright sunlight of freedom and see what your resentment has been keeping from you. Be kind, be gentle, and see the good in everyone. It’s there somewhere.

We would like to thank the many contributors leading up to this guest post and in advance for all of our other guest writers that are thinking about it and will keep posting.