“Each person deserves a day away in which no problems are confronted, no solutions searched for.” – Maya Angelou

Three weeks ago, on an otherwise beautiful Sunday autumn morning, I received some of the most jarring news I had ever heard: my dear mother had suffered a stroke and was in the hospital. My father, who had driven her to the emergency room in the middle of the night, quickly assured me, over the phone, that she would be fine but that the doctors wanted to keep her overnight for observation.

I’m not sure how that conversation with my father ended. I don’t remember putting down the phone. I only remember the complete and utter shock I felt as I tried to wrap my mind around the situation. I had yet to live through either of my parents having a major illness, and frankly, I did not know how I was supposed to react.

My mind eventually settled on taking care of immediate practical issues. I cooked, cleaned and dusted. I talked to my sister and arranged times for us to take turns watching my brother, who has autism. I went grocery shopping, and on the way home picked up a big bouquet of flowers that I hoped would bring a smile to my mother’s face when she got home the next day.

Unfortunately, she didn’t end up coming home the next day. What was initially supposed to be 24-48 hours of observation, turned into a week in the hospital and another week in an in-patient rehabilitation center. Although I saw her getting stronger and more upbeat every day, the stress of balancing full-time work with care of my brother, maintenance of the house and most importantly, making sure my mother was cared for, began to wear on me, physically and emotionally. And apparently, it showed.

One afternoon, as I sat by my mother’s side, she gently encouraged me to start going to yoga classes again – something I had put on hiatus while she was recovering. Before I could even object to the suggestion she assured me that she would be okay and that my brother would be taken care of.

Even though I was too afraid to admit it at the time, I desperately needed a break and a release. Once I actually took the time for yoga, prayer and meditation, I realized that my need for respite was not a sign of weakness but instead a way to build mental and spiritual strength. This need to recharge, was not, as I previously felt, a reflection of selfish tendencies or an attempt to shirk my responsbilities, but my body and soul’s natural response to stress and exhaustion. Once I allowed myself the chance to breathe and relax, I became stronger and more resilient. I was not only better at helping my mother in her recovery but also in mine.

Affirmation: My holistic well-being is important. It’s okay to not be okay sometimes. It’s okay to need a break.

Call to Action: Take time to stop and smell the flowers, both literally and figuratively.

Thank you to our guest contributor for the post and picture!

“Unity is strength… when there is teamwork and collaboration, wonderful things can be achieved.” – Mattie Stepanek

Approximately 3 years ago the idea that eventually became this website was hatched. You can read about the beginning here. 3 of the 4 guys that night eventually came together to write and maintain this website. When we first started the website our only goal was to add some positivity to the internet every Friday. Our lives have all gone in very different directions, but we have stayed in touch, and CYLF has had a lot to do with that.

When we started, my guess was we would make it maybe 4 months, and as I post this we have posted for 34 months. I have no idea what we have added to the Internet, but I do know this has been a sort of friendship glue. I am grateful for what it has added to my life, and how the ebb and flow of our inspiration and contribution has been different at different times, but someone has always showed up.

Do you have any things in your life that keeps you connected to friends, family, and others you love? If not, what might that look like? I challenge you to create something new in your life that will bring any number of people together.

Affirmation: I am connected to all that are in my life. People may appear to come and go, but we stay connected.

Call to Action: How do you stay connected with those you love? Please share those ideas with the CYLF community.

“Growth is how nature keeps things alive.”

For years a good friend of mine would parrot a sentence as a reminder to himself and those around him that there is only one direction to go in life.  “There is only one way you can coast and that is downhill.”  Last week two questions were posed in the beginning of the post which was just a passageway for several more to come.  You should know that I was not the one to write last week and I did not read it until this morning, while reading it I was so touched by the words because that word “complacency” stuck out to me in a big way.

I have not become complacent in all parts of my life but I have certainly had a shift in what is important and where my focus goes.  What this shift has done is taken me away from some of the same things that my dear friend wrote about a week ago.  Things that are not “needed” to survive day-to-day but they are NEEDED if I want to thrive year to year.  I believe this at my core that without a focus on soul work I will crumble.  That is why we made this blog almost three years ago.  To be honest it has become a seeming burden because of coasting away from those things that connect me at my core.

So here I am with two paragraphs of problem, 10 hours, 34 min after post time…ready for a solution and those answers.  How does it get any better than this?  Right now, this moment, is the greatest moment of my life.  It is my choice to continue doing the work that allows me to feel the beauty of now more often each day. I know this because I have seen it work time and time again in myself and in the men I surround myself with.  What else is possible?  Anything!  I have seen miracles happen in front of me and sometimes I forget that.  The man who wrote last weeks post in my eyes is a walking miracle, it is men like him that give me a boost when I am stagnant and for that I am grateful.

Affirmation: Growth is how nature keeps things alive. I grow and live life to the fullest.

Call to Action:  I can not do this alone.  At some point in the past several years I lived with a few men that helped me stay accountable to focus on Soul work.  I need help to focus and stay accountable and invite the support.  Anyone interested in rebuilding this community.  I love you guys and thanks to the D for being a great example for me today and a message of accountability.

Use these questions at least once today, and let us know in the comments how it goes.

“How does it get any better than this?”
“What else is possible?”
– Ricky Williams

Earlier this week I was listening to a TED talk by Ricky Williams, and he ended the talk with the two questions above. I shared them with people, and turned to the internal to reflect on them. My thought process around these questions focused on how I could include these in my life and why I might incorporate them into my life.

Starting today, I am going to include these questions into one event that unfolds in my life everyday. I have been incredibly blessed over the last year of my life, and during the same time frame I have slacked in certain areas that were positive in my life. I have not ate as healthy, I meditate less on a daily basis, and in general have just become extremely comforatable. I do not want to just be comfortable, but I want to excel on a day-to-day basis.

This brings me to the why. My life has become full of things that bring me happiness, and through this experience complacency has crept into my active life. The importance of incorporating these into my life is to encourage growth and expansion, not only in “bad” experiences, and more importantly the “good.” I truly belive when you are coasting you are going down hill. My goal today is to use these questions to stop me from coasting.

Affirmation: Growth is how nature keeps things alive. I grow and live life to the fullest.

Call to Action: Use these questions at least once today, and let us know in the comments how it goes.

“Since you cannot do good to all, you are to pay special attention to those who, by the accidents of time, or place, or circumstances, are brought into closer connection with you.” – Saint Augustine

I have had the privilege of living all of the United States during my adult life. The weekends of September have been filled by spending time on the East Coast with people I met in Arizona & Minnesota. The month will be capped off by hanging out with my mom the next two days, and going on a day trip to see another friend from New Mexico.

I can be easily distracted by football on TV, Internet on my smart phone, or sending text messages to people that are miles away. One of my friends I was able to spend time with helped me remember and look around at how many people are on “their devices.” (I was one of them at times.) I love modern technology and all that comes with that, but I sometimes forget to use it as a tool.

My goal today is to make deeper connections with those I meet, and take advantage of that opprotunity.

Affirmation: I am connected to all. I take advantage of those moments to connect at a deeper level with you.

Call to Action: How are you connecting to those around you? Do you have a technique you use to make a connection with a stranger?

“it’s never too late to start over!”

This morning I am making a late post because I needed to start over!  I needed to take all that I had worked on before and let it go so that I could begin to create a new experience.  This was not my intention or my plan but as you read my words it is my reality.  I had to restart this blog today because the situations surrounding my creative mind were blocked by something more pressing and gripping that was drawing me to clear up before I moved forward.

So what is this event that has caused me to dump the old and start new?  My first call this morning from a client was accusatory, my second was from a worker who was lost, in a rush to go out into the world and meddle with everything and start the fixing process, I then locked my keys in my car.  I am not really sure how I did this since I have some sort of smart key that is not tasked to do such a thing but I suppose I need to be smarter than the key.  This morning I was not successful at that process.

So at first I react because the world so desperately needs me to fix it(false).  I need to get all of my work done quickly so I can screw off on a friday afternoon(false).  I will not be ok if my plans fall apart(false).  I am in control of my world and environment(false).

What I know to be true this morning is that the world will not fall apart because my plans have begun to get changed.  If I focus on this bad start I will never be able to have a triumphant finish.  So in this moment, still early in the day, I choose to start over and let go of the troubles that I found at my feet first thing this morning.

Affirmation It is my choice to release the past and start over.  In this moment I choose to start over.

Call to Action  What are you holding on to that is keeping you from a fresh start?

Special thanks to our guest writer this week.

“We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.” – Winston Churchill

About a year and a half ago, I found myself on the brink of emotional and mental burnout. The frustrations in my life stemmed from multiple areas – my inability to break into my career, mounting school loans from graduate school, unhappiness in my relationship and an ever-increasing fatigue from the job I had taken in the meantime to make ends meet. Eventually, that frustration melted into melancholy which then gave way to a quiet numbness that pervaded my life.

Ultimately, I grew weary of my own ennui and decided that I had to make a change. I started aggressively networking with anyone and everyone I could find in my field. I looked at my finances and created a realistic budget to take the pressure off of my school loan payments. I broke into my career. I left my controlling and emotionally abusive boyfriend. I reached out to family and friends. I breathed a sigh of relief. I smiled. And still, in the midst of all of these great changes in my life, I still felt like something was missing.

On a whim, I did a quick internet search to see what volunteer opportunities were nearby. On an even greater whim, I signed up for volunteer training at the local hospice. I wondered if I was ready to take on such emotionally taxing work. I worried that I wouldn’t be able to make a difference.

Recently, I started working with a small group at the hospice that sends financial aid and various resources to a sister hospice in Uganda. Through a video chat with the workers in Africa, I learned that their hospice also runs a daycare and helps young students get the money, clothes and supplies they need to go to school.

After the meeting, I started collecting gently used clothes I find. I searched through closets. I washed. I folded. And as I looked at this pile I had collected, I thought, “This isn’t nearly enough”. This past Wednesday, as we did another Skype call with the Ugandan hospice workers, we each went around the room to say hello and give a quick update. As I gave them my status report, their faces immediately lit up with big, bright, brilliant smiles. From thousands of miles away, through the magic of the internet, I saw these wonderful people clapping and cheering…for me. “Thank you”, they said. “Thank you so much! We really appreciate it!”

In that simple gesture of genuine gratitude from a group of humanitarian workers in Uganda, I finally found what my life had been missing.

Affirmation: My life has meaning. My contribution matters. I can make a positive difference in another person’s life.

Call to Action: Test the boundaries of your comfort zone and reach out to help someone new.

Two friends of mine went to nursing school together. Upon completion of their education outside factors kept them away from the profession that they worked so hard to be a part of. They both kept the jobs that they worked through school and at one point or the other started to think that they would never be nurses and probably didn’t want to be anyway. The jobs available weren’t for new graduates and no one was hiring without professional experience. The catch-22 was that nurses were in a high demand at the time and still are to this day. Through networking and perseverance the first student finally gets the job she has worked so hard for and has been excelling at for almost a year now. Recently, after some persuasion and motivational conversation, the first nurse has inspired the second to pursue her career and is now gainfully employed. The second nurse was thanking the first nurse that inspired and motivated her to reignite that passion and start working in the field that she studied so hard for. It is no doubt of mine that both of these women will be leaders in their industry in no time. Their brilliance and compassion give all of their actual patients and us potential patients the confidence and comfort in knowing that we are receiving the best care possible.

This story makes me think of the traits that it took for them to finally realize their dreams: perseverance, encouragement and belief in others. Sometimes when we aren’t realizing our full potential we need our fellows to give us that extra boost. Our fellows can’t give us the encouragement we need unless they know our dreams.

Affirmation: I am worth believing in. I have lots to offer the world and people want to help me.

Call to Action: Tell somebody about your dreams, keep telling people about your dreams until you make them a reality. If you are living your dream take interest in your fellows, see how you can encourage them and help them realize their dream.

“It is by teaching that we teach ourselves, by relating that we observe, by affirming that we examine, by showing that we look, by writing that we think, by pumping that we draw water into the well.” – Henri Frederic Amiel

During the last few months I have been blessed with unbelievably great times. I have also had some low times one might characterize as fear or sadness. These are part of living life and being human. The other part of life I have been contemplating this week is relating with others.

Have you ever had a couple of friends attend a concert or sporting event together, and when you talk to them separately about it you wonder if they went to the same place? We are limited by our language to express what we see and feel, and even the definition of words we use can be skewed by our life experiences.

It can be a sunset, a sudden feeling of overwhelming joy, or a look of understanding from a loved one. These things can be indescribable and at times that is perfectly fine. The beautiful challenge for me today, is to take those things and attempt to share them with friends, family, and loved ones. When it is all said and done the imperfect attempt to share something will only add to my relationships with them.

Affirmation – My life is indescribable, I will share it with all that I can.

Call to Action – Think of a sight or event that really moved you recently and share that with someone you care about. Fell free to share it in the comments section too.

Earlier this week my truck would not start. It was frustrating because I was headed into work. I was blessed because my roommate, who usually leaves for work before me, was still home, and able to give me a ride to work. The last two days I have had to reach out to co-workers for a ride to and from work.

We usually lead each week with a quote, and as you can see today there is no quote. I was able to find a bunch of quotes about the importance of helping others, and quotes about asking God for help, but there were very few quotes about asking other people for help.

This week my eyes have been open to how hard it is to ask for help, but how easily people like to say yes. It forced me to get out of my comfort zone which I always appreciate in hind sight. My life is set up in such a way that I am usually the person that is able to offer help. My gift this week was being able to reach out and accept help regardless of my “I can do it myself attitude.”

Affirmation: Today I am helped, and I am helpful. The world is better when I am able to receive help, and allow the world to be helpful to me.

Call To Action: Where in your life can you ask for help? When was the last time someone asked you for help? How can you extend help to someone that might not be able to ask?