“There is a little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference.  The little difference is attitude.  The big difference is whether it is positive or negative.” – W. Clement Stone

Change Your Life Friday started through the inspiration of some words and videos that gave us the perspective to take a look at our lives and also the motivation to take some action to change them.  This week another one of those videos came into my reality.  Having open eyes and an open heart still prove to be some of the greatest bits of my character to this day.

I was watching a documentary about a paraplegic man who was injured during football practice. All of his friends and family kept commenting on how they couldn’t believe how positive he was.  Through his words and actions he would illustrate the futility of complaints and negativity. He was overwhelmingly grateful about the things he could still do, like video games, wheelchair rugby, and the use of his brain.

I have been thinking about this video ever since I watched it. I think about the way my body feels when I’m happy and when I’m grumpy. I know there are thousands of studies on the positive mindset and your well-being but I think my perception trumps it all.  I see how contagious it is when that negative person comes in the room and just ruins the mood.  I also see that it is equally contagious when the bright smiling person comes in and cheers everyone up.  I know for me I feel better when I smile, when I look at the bright side of things, when I live in gratitude.

Affirmation: Today is the perfect day to spread the true joy that I know to be in my heart with the world around me.  Thank you Life!

Call to Action: Think about how you can look at this Friday as a glass half full.

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“My happiness grows in direct proportion to my acceptance, and in inverse proportion to my expectations.” – Michael J. Fox

I have a very shocking but true revelation to share with the Change Your Life Friday community. Earlier today I had a situation arise that I was not prepared for, did not expect and I did not like the outcome. I know it is hard to believe; something did not go “my way.” Maybe that is not so shocking of a revelation but it is a truth I can count on almost everyday, at some point throughout my day something will come up that I am not prepared for, don’t expect or just do not want to accept.  If I know this is bound to happen I should do my best to prepare for such events or situations.

I am so grateful that I began practicing acceptance, soon after I was presented the benefits it breeds.  Classically I would have extremely high expectations of the people in my life, and how I would feel situations and opportunities should play out.  Almost without fail I would become very upset when things did not work out the way I thought they should or people neglected to treat me the way I imagined they might.  As soon as that cycle would start it was incredibly hard to find the end, I was bothered by the world and I couldn’t accept life as I was experiencing it.

What has changed through the practice of acceptance is that I have gained a deep rooted belief that the universe around me is exactly the way it is intended to be.  If I have that belief then nothing truly can be wrong, and I am exactly where I am supposed to be in this moment.  Acceptance is a very powerful tool that I can choose to use to save me from myself.  It hardly takes any effort at all just a choice in the idea that maybe this really is the way things are supposed to be due to the fact that this is the way things are…

Affirmation:  My life is exactly the way it is intended to be in this moment and for that I am grateful!

Call to Action:  Take some time today to look at your experience and see what is causing you the most pain or discomfort.  Ask yourself if you could accept the situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be would you feel better.  If the TRUE answer is yes, try acceptance on and feel some liberation and freedom.  Please share if you dare…Thank you life…

_{Copyright © 2011-2012, Change Your Life Friday. All Rights Reserved.}

“The knowledge and understanding of love is one thing, allowing love to deepen our spirit is what makes us part of the divine.” – Anonymous

This evening I had the honor to spend a couple of hours in hospice room 221. As I entered the room a wife, brother, friend, and chaplain were standing around a bed as a man was comfortably asleep. We formed a circle and the chaplain read the 23rd Psalm. Friends, family, and loved ones continued to fill the room with joy, love, and memories of this amazing man. An impromptu singing of Amazing Grace filled my heart with the kind of Life that words would not do justice to.

One of the man’s daughters introduced herself to me and we had an unforgettable conversation. The height of the conversation was us discussing the beautiful Love that was being expressed when I exclaimed “The Beatles nailed it, ‘All You Need is Love.’” She quickly replied “Well Burt Bacharach was not too far off when he said ‘What the World Needs Now is Love, Sweet Love.’” We looked at each other and it was as if we both had the same epiphany in that moment as she continued that the world is Love, we do not NEED anything, this life is Love and the rest is an illusion at best and probably closer to a delusion.

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, with a touch of LOVE on top. Leaning against the door frame that separated the room from a small bathroom I got to observe true love. A man, over eighty years old, had people come tell him thank you, tell him I Love you, and express other ways he had impacted them and others in such a profoundly positive way. Everyone had a chance to tell hilarious stories about his life, his brother shared some of his professional accomplishments, and he even had an MP3 player going in his ear so he could enjoy some of his favorite tunes by Bach, Chopin, and The Turtles “Happy Together.”

Why are these beautiful moments not available more in my life? Can I sing more? Can I tell people thank you more? Can I share a funny and fun story about a friend more? Can I tell you I Love you more? Can I have conversations about Love and death with people I just met? Can I talk about my deepest and most profound beliefs with you? Can WE entertain these conversations more often?

Affirmation: This Life is beautiful and perfect in its entirety. Love is my guiding force on this journey. Now I am found.

Call to Action: Take one of the questions in the last paragraph, or add one in the comments section, and seek an answer that is true for you. Please share how this might have shifted your Friday with our community.

_{Copyright © 2011-2012, Change Your Life Friday. All Rights Reserved.}

“I am thankful for the life that I get to live today, it is better than any life I could have imagined.” – Anonymous

In my past many things were taken for granted.  I never realized all that I had.  The funny thing is, back then I had all the material things that I thought I wanted. About four years ago I experienced a life-changing event. I lost all of the material things and all the little things came into sharp focus since then. I wake up each morning grateful for another day alive.  My life is much richer today.  I am grateful for my family and my friends on such a different level these days.  The thing I am most grateful for is my new found ability to be open, honest, and the ability to trust those in my inner circle with my real problems, fears, hopes, dreams and desires.  These little things I have found to be much more priceless than any material possession I have ever had.

Eternally grateful
-Aiden

My gratitude list:

• The Great Mystery of Love
• Family
• Friends
• Marco & Aunt Leslie
• CYLFriday
• “My ego is no amigo” – Allison B.
• Tempe & Las Cruces
• Attempting to connect my mind, body and soul
• books
• Last but not least; You!

Much Love
-Dorian

In this moment as I write this, I am so very grateful. I can smell an abundance of flavors that have spread through the house. I can hear people debating over the football game on the television. The sound of children playing and others laughing is echoing off the walls. My house is full of people, not one of which is related to another. This holiday has brought us all together to share in fellowship and friendship in the absence of our own families. Since early this morning the door has been rotating, smile after smile, with each incoming face I am reminded of how important the relationships are that have grown about my world. In this moment I am so grateful for the love that my friends bring me and the love that they allow me to give to them!

In Love With Life
-Chris

Affirmation: I am so grateful. I am so grateful. Thank you Life.

Call to Action: Please share your Thanksgiving thoughts with us.

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“We fear our highest possibilities. We are generally afraid to become that which we can glimpse in our most perfect moments, under conditions of great courage.” – Abraham Maslow

In my life I have had various encounters with “greatness” and moments of “great courage” but many times I let them pass, as if the situation was an accident. Over the last week or so I have been contemplating and planning my next move, my next big step. I keep catching myself drifting towards little plans and little ideas. I am very happy I recognize this thinking, since I can then challenge myself to go bigger. My goal is to find that sweet spot between grandiose ego driven plans and a life that is played at a small level due to fear of my highest possibility.

I am not completely sure how I do this. When am I in fear, the stories (lies) I am telling myself have a theme of staying small. When I think about those perfect moments, I want to achieve that “greatness”, and those perfect moments more and more. The perfect place to start must be looking at my fears. Reflecting on those perfect moments, one thing always remains consistent, I was completely free of fear.

Being a contributor to CYLFriday.com has granted me an opportunity to go from doubting my writing skills to being extremely confident in my ability to write.  That process happened through having a thought followed by direct action.  My next step is to inventory my life and determine where else this has been the case, and what scenarios have allowed me to change my perspective.  With a clear perspective, I can have great courage that my choices are perfect and once again I will conquer those limiting fears.

Affirmation: I am ready to live full-out bringing to the table of life the most expressive me that I can.

Call to Action: Where are you playing small in your life and what will you do today to change that? Please share your plans with the CYLF community.

_{Copyright © 2011-2012, Change Your Life Friday. All Rights Reserved.}

“A mistake is simply another way of doing things.”  – Katherine Graham

“mis•take: 1. an error in action, calculation, opinion, or judgment caused by poor reasoning, carelessness, insufficient knowledge, etc.” – dictionary.com

I love how this life is full of amazing chances to live, learn, grow, and change. I also know that I am extremely fortunate to be able to look for the good in a situation that is seemingly very bad.  Last night I made a mistake, “an error in action” as the definition provides.  The error in action that I made caused a friend to feel very uncomfortable; in response I too felt very uncomfortable, lost a little sleep and felt an urge to correct my actions.

What I kept thinking, when I was replaying this situation, was how I made a mistake and it needed to be fixed.  This contradicted a much deeper belief that there are no mistakes!  I do believe this to my core. Whenever I look back upon my life, I know today in this moment, several things that I have deemed as being “wrong” or negative in the moment have brought me to the place I am today and I would not change any of it.

Language is incredible and words are very important to me in my life. As I sift through this situation, the definition really sheds a great deal of light on my reality.  This definition does not state that a mistake is a “wrong,” it says it is an error.  The error becomes a “wrong” when I label it as such.  Alexander Pope was quoted to say, “To err is human; to forgive, divine.” In this moment I took an action that was an error; that makes me human.  My job now is to work through the overwhelming feeling that says I should label this as a “wrong,” I can do this through the second part of the quote which, reminds us that forgiveness is where the Love is.  In this situation I need to forgive myself so that I can re-enter the world and be present for all of the good that is coming to me and from me.

Affirmation:  There are no mistakes, every error is a chance to learn and grow!

Call to action: As you make mistakes, find the good, learn from them, and share the results with us.

_{Copyright © 2011-2012, Change Your Life Friday. All Rights Reserved.}

“It doesn’t matter which side of the fence you get off on sometimes. What matters most is getting off. You cannot make progress without making decisions.” – Jim Rohn

I hate campaign propaganda, election time, and everything that goes with it. On my list of important things in life politics is not on it. I have made a decision to vote this election. I am not proud to say it, but I have only voted one other time in my life, and in that election I voted for Mike Tyson for School Superintendant, literally.

This all came about when I was listening to a speaker about getting out of debt and making better decisions about money. It dawned on me that when I become engaged and an active participant in any area of my life it gets better. Over the last few months I have been paying down debt and saving money at the same time. In just 5 short months my financial situation is in much better order.

This is not a call to get out and vote, not a fiscal responsibility reminder, and not a demand to make a decision one way or another. I know that when I make decisions out of love, and my motivation is to become a better me, my life improves. When I am not engaged in my life, and my main action is inaction, I am allowing others to dictate that area of my life. I am even excited about decisions that have not worked out for me because those are things I have learned from and grown from. Through mindful action and decisions I am proud to say I am much happier with my life than I was 5 years ago.

Affirmation: My heart is filled with love. I allow this love to guide every decision I make today.

Call to Action: Find one area in your life that needs improving or that you have been ignoring in such a way that you are not truly sure the status of it at all. Join with us CYLFriday friends and make a decision to do something different with that aspect of life.

_{Copyright © 2011-2012, Change Your Life Friday. All Rights Reserved.}

“The first thing a kindness deserves is acceptance, the second, transmission.” – George MacDonald

At this point in my life I watch very little television, I stay away from news and tabloid style programming, but recently I seem to catch myself getting pulled into politics and sports.  The atmosphere of both politics and sports is so incredibly polarizing that it seems characters on both sides of an issue or event would literally go to war against their fellows to stand up for their team or party. Most of these people, by all other standards, are completely sane in their affairs which makes this overwhelming passionate anger so shocking to me as the viewer.

I take this chance to look at myself and see where I am taking this kind of ideal into my life because my truth tells me that regardless of the outcome of a sporting event or political race my duty will still be one of love and kindness toward my fellows.  I need to remember that in the moment, this person who has different beliefs or passions than me is still my brother or sister on this planet and my job is to treat them that way.

It is amazing how far a little bit of kindness can go in the world.  Some of my greatest memories are moments in time when someone took just a little bit of extra effort by expressing some kindness.  The action brings joy to both parties and the beautiful thing is that there does not even have to be a reason. A random act of kindness with no reason usually results most likely will be filled with even more wonder.

Affirmation:  I am a loving being above all else and my job right here, right now is to be a vessel of kindness to the entire world around me.

Call to action:  You guessed it, get out in the world today and do some uncharacteristically good deeds for some of your fellows.  Spread so of your extra joy into the first place you can and keep up the practice for a day.  Not only will this be a Friday for you to change your life but you might just change someone else’s in the process… Go, go on…

_{Copyright © 2011-2012, Change Your Life Friday. All Rights Reserved.}

“trust the process” – Mug at a coffee shop

This past Sunday I was able to live a dream of becoming a professional speaker. I got in front of a room of people and shared a message of inspiration and love. While preparing for my talk I was stuck on the last point to share about. The Friday night before I was set to talk I went to dinner with my mother and to a coffee shop afterwards. We were waiting for our drinks, and my mom picked up a mug and said “look isn’t this great and turquoise is my favorite color.” I read the inscription on the mug that simply said “trust the process”. The light bulb came on, and I had the last point of my talk.

The last two years of my life have been full of incredible blessings. As I am able to reflect back one thing that I can see over and over again is when I sit back and do the work I need to take care of today everything in the future works out. This is not to say I do not have bumps in the road or tough days, but all I have to do is get through that day and not give up. Conversely when I try to force things to work just the way I want them to, they usually do not and in the process I get worked up, frustrated and stressed out about the situation.

At this very moment I feel that I am in a great deal of flux and uncertainty. What I know from the depth of my being is that if I handle what I need to today, and truly trust in the process of life, everything will be amazing. This gift I give, this gift I receive, and this gift you share is Life in action. Thank you Life!

Affirmation: At this moment I trust in the process of life. I will do my best right now so I can receive the best life has to offer.

Call to Action: You may be pickig up on a theme here in our writing. In our lives the need to let go of results in this moment is so important we need to continue to do the work to feel the releases that life offers. I hope you have followed us and began to trust more, fear less and live freer as a result. Take some time and give back this week, share with the CYLFriday community an instance when something in your life seemingly worked out amazingly well. Please also let us know why you trust the process moving forward from here. Your words will help us all trust a bit more.

_{Copyright © 2011-2012, Change Your Life Friday. All Rights Reserved.}

“All I have seen teaches me to trust the creator for all I have not seen.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson 

A few years ago, I was going through a situation, which brought about a great deal of fear surrounding my future.   Not really one specific event, rather several small points where I would get lost in the fear of what was around the next bend.  I was sharing many of these small yet encompassing fears with a friend, when he realized that I was very present and full of joy. Although, nothing in my circumstances had changed he posed a question that I have shared several times since; “is this the future that you were so worried about?” At that time I made the shift, it became very clear that when I was dealing with this moment, those worries of the past and fears of the future no longer exist.

I am now in a space that many people would fully justify me to feel worry or fear based on the outside circumstances in my life.  I have a new beginning at a job, I am living in a new place, I am reconnecting with old friends and building new relationships and I am financially in a lower place than I have been in a very long time.  Through all of this though I am full and confident in a future that I cannot fully see yet, the result is a keen ability to live the best I can in the present.  This trust comes from what Emerson eludes to in our quote, All I have seen, my past experiences have proven to me time and time again that everything will be exactly the way it is intended to be, so my job is simply to not worry and keep moving forward. 

I cannot bring to mind a feeling or thought that has been more detrimental to my growth than worry.  Worry is like a disease that feeds on itself to steal time, love, joy and wonder from the world around us.  I choose today to further let go of worry while dedicated myself to taking as much actions as is necessary to cure that disease.   “Is this the future that you were so worried about?”

Affirmation: Today I trust that everything is exactly the way it is supposed to be.

Call to Action: This week, watch out for how controlled your life is by worry and fear.  When you are struck with it be prepared to affirm that in that moment you are exactly where you are supposed to be.  Recall those times in your past where it seemed all was lost to build this belief that moving forward everything will be the way it is supposed to be.  Take the action to separate worry from your world…starting, NOW!!! We never said change was easy, trust us, it is good.

_{Copyright © 2011-2012, Change Your Life Friday. All Rights Reserved.}