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40 days of Gratitude

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I was working a freelance job for the past two days. The kind of job that pays well but is not consistent. I stayed busy the whole day, busy enough that a 12-hour shift did not really seem that long. At the end of the day some of the bosses and my boss’s bosses thanked me for the work I did. I thanked them for the opportunity and I felt gratitude in my heart.  Its funny how this simple act of them thanking me at the end of the day made me feel good about my work. I wonder what the workforce would be like if at every 9-5 job, the bosses thanked their employees before they went home each day.

I am reflecting on gratitude today to start getting in the spirit of the next forty days. We start on Sunday with a topic, question, or some sort of prompt to help you think of what your grateful for and we will have a new post everyday for the next forty days. The fortieth day lands on Thanksgiving, a perfect way to start the holiday season.

Affirmation: I am the catalyst for positive change amongst my friends and my community.

Call To Action: Will you take the forty days of gratitude with us? Be brave, be bold, post it on our page or share on Facebook with us what you are grateful for. Inspire gratitude amongst your friends. In forty days you will have a new life!

41. Preparing Thanks

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“Energy and persistence conquer all things.” – Benjamin Franklin

Two years ago I had the chance to participate in a 40 days of gratitude with a handful of my friends. A spiritual center in Phoenix, but together a booklet filled with a question for each day. My friend was extremely excited about it, and his enthusiasm was such that I thought I would get in on the action. The results were amazing due to writing about something I was thankful to have in my life for 40 days it gave me a whole new way to look at each day. In less than a week of this experiment I caught myself looking for things to write about at the end of the day. It seemed as though each day took a little less energy, but the amount I was writing began to grow. The nights that I did not want to write anything I would still crack open the booklet to at least write one thing from the question that day.

As I look back on those last two years the experience that manifested around Thanksgiving was so much greater than I could remember in years past.   All too often the holidays would seem like more of a chore and before the “special day” was over I would be drained and exhausted missing out on the spirit of the holiday completely.   This 40 days of gratitude kept the focus of Thanksgiving in the front of my head and really showed me how everyday was a day to give thanks.

This practice has continued on for the past two years. Today when I look at my day, I always end with 3 things that I am grateful for. Talking to that same friend today, he suggested we create a Change Your Life Friday 40 days of gratitude leading up to Thanksgiving. Starting a week from tomorrow, we will be posting a gratitude question on the site. Each day you can check out what that question is and post here in the comment section or just write it down for your own journal. We are also asking over the next week for our readers to submit questions they would like to see included in the 40.

Affirmation: I am grateful for this moment, in this moment I am grateful.

Call To Action: Please post one thing you are currently grateful for in your day, and include a question that you like to see included in our 40 days of gratitude.  This 40 days of gratitude could really inspire our community and the people around us.  Take some time and think how you can help others find a little more thanks in their days.

40. Out of the Comfort Zone

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“I like people who shake other people up and make them feel uncomfortable.” – Jim Morrison

I recently started taking classes at a new school. I don’t know a soul in any of my classes. I feel uncomfortable around strangers and I do not like meeting new people. I find there is a level of insecurity within me; hopefully I don’t come off as desperate, or lonely, or a nerd, or a jerk.  I know there are many other kids in classes that are new and feel the same way.  My least favorite thing to do is eat lunch alone. All the people sitting by themselves have their smart phones, tablets, and laptops out. It is a great way to mask loneliness by acting as if you’re busy or to important to make small talk with strangers.

I force myself to meet the people who sit in proximity with me. As we approach the halfway point of the semester I realize the benefits of forcing myself out of my comfort zone. Before one of my classes yesterday I was talking with a group of students that comprised of three rows. Approximately ten students in the conversation and even though I do not know all of their names or have formally met them we have a familiarity with each other.  I have exchanged numbers with a few classmates to discuss homework and help each other out studying for mid terms. In the sea of lonely people we have started to create bonds.

As I write this, I am sitting on a patio of a restaurant. I realize that school is the easiest place to meet people and make friends, but pushing yourself out of your comfort zone to meet people can happen anywhere.  When I was trying to find a seat on this patio, there were no open tables. I could have stood around and waited for one to open or taken my food, left the restaurant, and sat at a park bench (as I usually do). I scanned the patio and found someone sitting alone and asked to sit down. I made small talk, exchanged pleasantries, and got on with this writing. When my table companion left I sat and wrote alone for a few minutes. I was hoping that someone else would be brave and sit down before I finished and they did. A couple sat and shared the table with me.  It is not like we are going to exchange numbers and hang out later because we shared a table, but at least I did not eat alone.

Affirmation: The unfamiliar and different is where I grow the most. I evolve in those times that something is new to me.

Call to Action: Share something you did today that felt uncomfortable, and was something new to you. It can be something big or small, but please share it with the CYLF community.

 

39. Count Your Blessings

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“Gratitude is an opener of locked-up blessings.” – Marianne Williamson

Last week I was blessed with an invite to serve at an amazing event in Phoenix called Project Connect.  Project Connect is a monthly event that brings members of the community together with homeless people who are attempting to find solutions to their life problems and short comings. There are tables and services for clothing, food, shelter, medical, spiritual, drug problems and many other chances to move up in the world. I am a huge fan of this program since both parties get to grow through this experience.

I was able to walk two people through the process. The first was a woman who had been sober for a few months and was looking to get a test to find out if she was HIV positive. I was able to hold space for her and be there for this stranger in a very challenging and scary time in her life. I was honored to be placed in such a position to share the strength this world has given me with this woman.

The second person I was graced with gave me his sheet, he looked very run down. As I looked at his sheet I saw his birthday right away.  He was born on 9/25/1980…my birthday was yesterday, 9/26/1980. I was brought face to face with a man the same age as me who was living a much tougher life than I could even fathom today. All he wanted was a new ID and I helped convince him to get a shower, hair cut and some new clothes. With just those few things this mans whole aura seemed to brighten up. Being able to serve brightened me as well. On Wednesday I tracked him down and gave him a few gifts that I thought he would like. That process of giving to him provided me with such a gift of loving what I have in this moment.

I am not sure if what I gave to this man will change him at all, what I do know is that I have an even deeper gratitude for all the blessings that I have. I celebrated my birthday yesterday by reaching out to so many people who have helped me along my path. I used to often be focused on what I was going to get out of people and situations like holidays and birthdays. Today I count my blessings and find places where I can give back to others on days like this, as a result I am given a gift that is more valuable than any material thing could ever provide, that is the gift of joy and serenity that the Universe gives me for giving freely of myself. I love this life and I cannot wait to see how I can serve my fellows this next year!

Affirmation: I am blessed! My blessings allow me to bless others. I am grateful for all my blessings. Thank You Life!

Call To Action: Find a way that you can be a blessing in someone else’s life today. Try and see if you can be that blessing anonymously. If you would like to share that here with the CYLF community we would love that. If you would rather, answer these two questions in the comments. What are you grateful today? What was a blessing in your life today?

38. Teach The Positive

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“A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops.” – Henry Brooks Adams

During one of my clinical rotations I was assigned to a behavior health clinic. Teaching is one of the most important roles as a nurse, and one of our assignments was to teach “something” to an assigned group of patients. I was assigned to a group of young adolescents who exhibited signs of depression through the act of cutting. Knowing that many of these patients were not actually trying to kill themselves but were merely trying to mimic the physiological changes that occur with the sympathetic nervous system, I knew a standard power point or lecture would have been useless.

I needed to get them engaged and make them feel that fight or flight response through a non-life threatening outlet.  In an attempt to imitate the rush felt with the fight or flight response I gave them all an ice cube and instructed them to hold it tightly in their hand until it was completely melted.  At first they laughed, but as time went on they began to feel a familiar sensation, the sympathetic nervous system began to kick in. Their breaths became quicker and shallow and their hearts began to beat faster. During this time period we discussed the reasons behind the urge to cut, the way it made them feel during the act, how they felt after, and what they could do to replace the urge. I did the exercise with them, which developed trust, giving them the ability to open up and express their feelings with me. This was a simple, but compelling exercise because it gave them the power to stop without the repercussions of a life threatening scenario.

I was able to create a fun and engaged, but serious, learning environment providing tools that could help deviate from lethal masochistic behaviors. I will never know the true outcome from my teaching, but I am confident I made a positive influence.  I can think of so many times that a positive attitude made all the difference between weather I was able to accept a lesson or disregaurd it.  What I know today is that my role is to bring the most positive parts of my life experience to others so that they can experience some of the same joys that I do.

Affirmation: I am a teacher, and I will continue to positively influence those around me.

Call to Action: Make a vow to replace a negative action with a positive action in your life.  Follow this up with sharing your results with those around you, so they too can make a positive change that will have an affect on life’s eternity.

37. Release

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“You leave old habits behind by starting out with the thought, ‘I release the need for this in my life’.” – Wayne Dyer

Last weekend I got the chance to attend a TEDx event. The last speaker of the day really caught my attention. I am a doer, and a guy that likes to accomplish things. The speaker’s talk was titled “The Power of Quitting”, reading ahead in the program I was not sure that was a talk for me. I was very wrong.

The speaker, Rachael Horner, had three points; decide which goals are worthwhile, quit early, and be pragmatic about our approach. I thought about the times I hung on to things that were no longer serving me, and I refused to release. Many of these things, once I was able to let go of them, I was grateful they had finally left my life.

The destructive behaviors in my life were the easy ones to see right away, what a gift it was to quit. The things that were not as easy to see were the jobs I held on to a bit too long, the relationships that last just days longer than needed, and the things I am still holding onto today that I should have already quit.

Today, I challenge you to look at what is and is not worthwhile in your life, quit those things that are not worthwhile now, and acknowledge those mistakes and learn from them.

Affirmation: I release and I let go, I let the Spirit run my life, my heart is open wide!

Call to Action: Please share with us what goal you are going to move on from, and how you will use that time towards something more worthwhile.

36. Truth

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“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” – John 8:32

I told a lie today. I was at a coffee shop inside of a grocery store. The woman working was older and moving a little slowly, but she was really nice and let me know it was going to be a minute because she was putting together a big order. I wasn’t in a hurry so I let her know she could take her time and I waited patiently. Another employee of the store came over extremely upset, “Has she even taken your order?!?! We’ve been having complaints about her!” I was shocked and stammered, “Ye-ye- yes she has.”  I do not know why I lied to her. I do not know if I felt some loyalty to the older woman. I do not know if I felt I had to protect her. I would like to think that is the case, but what does that say about me? Am I so co-dependent I have to protect a complete stranger? I got caught in the very lie I just told. The elderly woman asked me what I would like less than 30 seconds after and I know the angry woman heard her. She stomped off in a huff. I told a self-deprecating joke to lighten the mood and the elderly woman seemed to enjoy that.

I thought about the experience for my whole car ride and then again as I write this post. When is it ok to lie? I was protecting the woman so, I should be a hero right? Wrong, every conclusion I came up with is the truth is the only thing I should speak. The lie is only going to harm the elderly woman in the long run. Maybe she needs to move on and get a new job. Maybe she needs a scolding from her boss to learn how to move faster. Maybe a hundred other things that I do not know the answer to and I cannot see the future but little white lies are wrong.

My challenge for the week is to catch myself whenever I tell a little white lie and speak the truth.

Affirmation: My truth is valuable to those around me. I know my truth and it is the best version of my story.

Call to action: Think about a time when you lied and why. Tell somebody about it. Set yourself free. If you catch any dishonesty crop up this week share it with us and find your truth.

35. Engage

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“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”   — Leo Buscaglia

We all have an innate desire to be loved or feel important from the time we are born all the way through the time we die.  I use the word important synonymously for the word love because when we are feeling important we feel meaningful and significant which plays an important role in the intense emotion of love.

I am prior military, and I specifically remember this period in my life with an abundance of love. The first time I put on my uniform with crisp starched creases and spit shinned boats I held my head up higher than I have ever held it before.  I felt a surge of goose bumps make their way from the top of my head to the tip of my toes. My eyes began to swell with fluid and I knew if I blinked tears would stream down my face and it would show weakness, so I stared off into space without blinking and thought about how my actions will afford people the opportunity for freedom.  After boot camp I flew home in my uniform and strangers approached me and shook my hand, thanking me for my service.  To this day my response is the same. I blush, smile and nonchalantly say you’re welcome. This small gesture by these strangers made me feel loved and important; they made me feel like my existence had boundless meaning.

During my time of service my day-to-day life seemed routine. I felt I was living my life just like others my age, in reality I was experiencing a whole different way of living.  As a veteran people frequently ask me what my job was in the Navy. I explain that my rate or job title was a Boatswain’s Mate, and one of the duties is to drive the ship. Immediately they become enamored that someone so petite could do such a job. I further go on to explain that I was a master helmsman and that while I may be petite I can drive a nuclear aircraft carrier better than Vin Diesel can race a car in Fast and Furious.  Being able to reminisce over this period in my life I am able to realize and put into perspective all the accomplishments achieved, giving me a surge of significance. Without the innate desire to feel important and loved I would have never been able to obtain life with such meaning.

Small conversations such as these can make people feel their worth. Through worth, love can be empowering providing a building block for growth through positive energy.

Affirmation: Today I will make a stranger or a loved one feel important. I will put a genuine smile on their face and make them feel the energy that radiates from love.

Call to Action:  Engage in a conversation with someone you see frequently but whom you have never spoken with. When asking someone how their day is really take the time and engage in the conversation, ask questions and make them feel like they are the only living soul that matters for that moment. Let a stranger know that you appreciate who they are and what they do. Make those around you feel important.

34. Support

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“Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.” – Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Heads up CYLF family, today we are going to do some heavy lifting.

Right about the time I turned 15, for a number of reasons, I  began to obsess about suicide. It lasted for about 4-5 long dark months. Obviously I did not act on those thoughts, but they are near and dear to me today because I can relate to people that are suffering from those ideations.

The topic of suicide has entered my life the last three days which is odd because I do not dwell or discuss it often. Tuesday, during a meal with about 12 people, the epidemic of veterans committing suicide was discussed. Wednesday, I talked to a friend and we talked about the importance of support for people struggling with suicidal thoughts. Yesterday as I was driving home from a busy day this came on the radio.

In the 3 minute radio report Antoinette Tuff was able to talk to, and bond with a would be school shooter. She was able to make a real and personal connection through a quick conversation about suicide. About a minute into the report I started bawling as I was driving down the interstate.

It might have been because I was tired, hungry, or maybe all those memories of the 15 year-old me came rushing back. The two profound facts is that Mrs. Huff continued talking to this man even with a gun in his hand, and she told him she loved him. It was a true example of love for a complete stranger.

If you are struggling with this here is a link to find help. The organization is called To Write Love On Her Arms.

We can make a difference. Through connection, love, and understanding we are able to show each other life can be bigger than any material gift or possession.

Affirmation: Today I connect with my fellows through Love in order to understand them better. The collective, we will hold and raise each other up.

Call to Action: Make an effort to reach out to another human being. Call an old friend, buy a stranger a meal, or say thank you to a co-worker for something. We never know when our positivity and enthusiasm towards life will touch another’s soul. Please share how someone has touched your soul, or how you were able to make a difference for someone.

33. Willingness

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“The amount of good luck coming your way depends on your willingness to act.” – Barbara Sher

Over the last week I have been in constant thought about the idea of willingness.  I had heard a story about how Socrates tested Plato’s willingness to seek knowledge by drowning him.  To only explain that it would not be until he was as willing to fight for knowledge in the way that he was fighting for breath could he continue to learn.  This example at first glance seems a harsh way to get a message across but it carries so much weight for me right now.

I believe today that I can effectively create just about anything I want out of life.  This belief comes from all of the changes that I have seen manifest over the last several years of putting change at the forefront of my life experience.  Without a doubt every avenue which I have taken the time to identify, the willingness to change it and the effort required I have gotten results and my life has gotten better,  As I write this now I can see several other areas where I feel change could be good.

If I honestly ask myself why I am in the same place I was when I recognized that a change would be desirable in certain areas the answer becomes very clear.  I simply have not become willing enough to work on them.  I may talk about them and start to believe the lie that I am doing all that is necessary to change them, but I am not.  If I really want a change in any area of my life I need to consider the lesson that Plato learned that day.  If I truely want my current situation to change I should focus on it with the willingness of a drowning man.  Only at that point can I say that I gave it everything I had.

Affirmation: In this moment I am willing to do the next right action.  (immediately followed by action)

Call To Action:  Years ago I would talk about wanting to get back in shape and I never did yet I would complain about my physical status and make excuses.  At some point the excuses got old and something needed to be changed.  I worked on one thing, being willing.  Willingness brought on a commitment that has not left me since.  What are you still waivering on?  Are you being honest about your effort?  Are you willing to do whatever it takes to get the result you want?  Please share your experiences with us.