8. Freedom from Fear

 

“Fear kills more dreams than failure ever will.” – Unknown

30 years of my life was robbed by irrational, uncontrolled fear. Even after removing binge drinking from my life I was still in the shackles of fear. Not the fake fear that you see in movies or you hear from children, but the kind of fear that ripped the joy and life out of my soul. Thankfully,  I have been blessed with a spiritual awaking that has shown me fear is not to be avoided but reviewed and dissembled as a bomb squad does the most treacherous of deadly devices.

This may sound dramatic but to me it was all too realistic. An all too pathetic dilemma was deciding what movie to watch on a Friday night. “What if I don’t like the movie after I start it ?” “There is no way I could enjoy this, why waste 2 hours watching this?” Yes, after extended periods of flipping channels and these type of irrational conversations I would waste hours. Not to mention I would see no movie (which I may have enjoyed) and caused myself an abusive mental work out. In dating situations or out with the guys I would always seem cool and confident when truthfully I was dying inside constantly trying to make everyone like me and be the guy I thought I needed to be to “fit in”.

What has changed in my life to grant me this “Spiritual awaking”? I have experienced over 2 years 9 months of continuous sobriety and I worked with others who have the calm and piece of mind that I wish to enjoy. I also studied other people and I realized we all have our internal issues. We all are great at somethings and have room for improvement in other areas.

Affirmation: I will no longer let fear stand in my way of enjoying what fate has in store for me.

Call to Action: In your life don’t be too fearful to make a new contact. Hold the door and say good morning (with respectful eye contact) to a stranger. Buy the person behind you their morning coffee. Leave a note for a loved one to say how meaningful they are to you. Please share your experiences with the CYLF community.

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